ASEANEWS HEADLINE-LIFE+STYLE | People & Issues | PETALING JAYA: Malaysia: Rising divorces, low reconciliation exposing flaws in family law system’

PETALING JAYA: Fathers’ Rights Association of Malaysia (FRAM) president Malcolm Fernandez said soaring divorce rates and plunging reconciliation figures are exposing deep flaws in the family law system, leaving children caught in high-conflict separations.

Fernandez, who is also managing partner of fathers-only law firm Malcolm Fernandez Advocates & Solicitors, said marital breakdown is rarely caused by a single factor.

“Poor communication, stress, interference from in-laws and the involvement of third parties often combine to push couples apart.”

He said with divorce now carrying far less social stigma, couples are increasingly unwilling to remain in marriages they see as irreparable.

“Rising divorces alongside declining reconciliation figures point not to a lack of willingness among couples to try but to a system that fails to offer timely and effective support.”

Asked whether divorce proceedings escalate conflicts, he said courts apply existing laws.

He added that the deeper challenge is that Malaysia’s family legislation dates back to 1976, an era when family structures and parenting roles were very different.

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“Our laws were drafted in an era in which one parent was usually the primary caregiver, parenting roles were clearly divided and post-divorce co-parenting was not actively recognised.”

He said many parents, including fathers, remain actively involved in their children’s lives after separation but the law has not kept pace.

He also said terms such as “custody” frame parenting as a win-lose contest, pushing parents into adversarial positions early on, adding that by contrast, jurisdictions such as Australia and the United Kingdom start from a shared parenting framework, with safety and child welfare as key considerations.

“That single shift changes the tone from confrontation to cooperation.”

Fernandez said lawyers are often consulted only after relationships have deteriorated, when disputes over finances or children dominate.

He added that at that stage, reconciliation may no longer be realistic, but conflict need not escalate.

He said early interventions such as counselling and mediation could either support reconciliation or facilitate a dignified separation that protects children from parental conflict.

“The issue is not legal representation itself. It is how late the system currently engages families in non-adversarial solutions.”

He endorsed calls by the Malaysian Bar for non-adversarial divorce models but added that legislative reform is also essential.

He urged a review of family laws to reflect modern parenting, move away from adversarial terms such as “custody” and implement early dispute resolution mechanisms with safeguards against abuse or violence.

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He also called for formalised parenting plans, stronger enforcement and updated laws on parental relocation and child abduction, both domestically and internationally.

“These are reforms that require legislative courage, not minor adjustments.”

Fernandez cautioned that without such reforms, rising divorces and declining reconciliation risk normalising high-conflict separations, leaving children exposed to prolonged parental disputes, disrupted parent-child bonds and long-term emotional strain, while increasing pressure on courts, schools and social services.

“This is not about favouring mothers or fathers. It is about reducing conflict, improving stability and protecting children from outdated systems.”