COLUMN: OPINION- Roses in winter – – By Francisco S. Tatad

“God gave us memory so we may have roses in December.” — J.M. Barrie

I AM at this stage in life when I have to skip many social functions. In particular, those organized by much younger people where every other person seems to know me, and yet I do not know a single soul. It is most unnerving. Nearly 50 years ago I was, at 29, the youngest Cabinet minister around, and quite at home in any crowd. That is all gone now, and I feel some perverse joy whenever I hear someone else make the same complaint.

I have a good friend whose mother got an award for being the longest living alumna of her college when she turned 101. She was most grateful, of course, but she told her children and grandchildren, “Let’s just thank them for this award, but let’s not attend anymore; all of them would be total strangers.”

An exceptional evening
Every now and then, though, I would run into some exception. For instance, last week my wife and I were pleased to attend the 50th wedding anniversary of a wonderful couple, Atty. and Mrs. Ancheta Tan. We may not share the same profession, religious persuasion or politics, but we have been true friends. I first met Chet after I entered the Cabinet in 1969; Chet’s wife, Cora de Jesus Tan, and my wife, Fenny Cantero Tatad, whom I married 48 years ago, have been the best of friends since their fun days at the University of the Philippines (UP).

Only a force majeure could have prevented us from crashing the Tans’ golden wedding anniversary rite on January 4. I had to excuse myself from my regular taping schedule for my Sunday TV program on Destiny/Global News Network on that day in order to be there, and I was prepared to put on a sparkling gold Stefano Ricci necktie to honor the occasion, until it occurred to me that some people might mistake “sparkling gold” for the politically controversial “yellow,” and never allow me to live it down. So, I decided to be prudent and wear a more subdued color. This paid off, and not even my wife noticed my discretion.

Despite the inhospitable weather, most of the invited guests made it to the Manila Peninsula dinner. Chet’s siblings and other close relatives from Tawi Tawi and Sulu, Cora’s own relatives, and the couple’s friends from all over across the years were all there. I had the chance to exchange greetings with some old friends like retired Ambassador Philip and Ada Mabilangan, one of my favorite couples in the Philippine foreign service, Atty. Antero Jr. and Mila Sison, Joey and Jenny Leviste, Christian and Winnie Monsod, former Senate protocol chief Carmen Arceno, architect and builder Pabling Calma, Susing and Maritess Pineda, and painter, stage actor and tenor Alan Cosio.

The family up close
On center stage were the golden couple and their immediate family, three married and highly accomplished children, with their own respective children. The eldest was Yasmin, whose name was taken from one of the stories of the Arabian Nights, and whose academic record at the UP College of Law and Harvard Law School remains the talk among lawyers of her generation; she led the entourage with her American lawyer-husband Andrew Schleider and their two talented children, Dominique Alexis and David William. They all came home from Singapore where they live and where Andy heads his law firm.

Coming from Brussels were the Ringels, the Belgian investment banker Matthias Ringel and his wife Mirinisa, Chet and Cora’s second daughter, and their own four children — Charlotte Catherine, Chloe Marie, Clara Yasmin, and Emmanuel. Mirinisa, who got her name from the poet Jose Garcia Villa’s short story of the same title, studied psychology at UP, then went to the Sorbonne for her French studies before going to the London School of Economics, which prepared her for her next stop as manager at McKinsey in Boston, Mass. From Boston she was transferred to Brussels. It was at McKinsey where she met her future husband. They married in Brugge and made their home in Brussels.

Chet Jr. studied law at UP Diliman and obtained his master of laws at George Washington University in Washington, D.C. He married fellow UP lawyer Abigail “Beng” Sese, who did her graduate studies in New York’s Columbia University. They have two young children, Chet Albert Sese Tan 3rd, and Cara.

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The first surprise
A Protestant pastor set the tone for the joyous celebration. Then the 15-year-old Dominique opened the cultural portion with a classical aria after a popular number. She nearly brought the house down, probably mainly because she was a complete “surprise” — her credentials as a young coloratura soprano were never announced. The last time I saw her in Manila or in New York, she was a five-year-old or so being cuddled by her grandfather Chet. Listening to her this time reminded me of the time I listened to Renée Fleming perform at St. Patrick’s Cathedral in New York: as she reached for the high notes, the Cardinal Archbishop of New York mumbled, “Please mind the chandeliers.” Happily, the cathedral’s chandeliers stayed unharmed.

The Ringels, led by Matthias without Nini, contributed a dance number, which was well-applauded by the crowd. But the piece de resistance was provided by the well-known Filipino soprano Rachelle Gerodias, who runs her own school of music, and her South Korean baritone husband Beyeong-in Park. They did several numbers and earned spirited applause. At the end of the presentations, Alan Cosio presented a life-size portrait of the couple, framed in glass. All three children paid their parents loving tribute; Chet retraced the high points of their 50-year marriage; but Cora, like any good wife in any solid Filipino marriage, gave the last word.

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A rendezvous to remember
For Chet and Cora Tan, it has been a well-lived marriage for 50 years. Chet calls it “the best thing that ever happened to me,” and has tried to memorialize it in a 160-page book titled, A Rendezvous to Remember — The Story of Chet and Cora Tan. Don’t be misled by what may seem at first, saccharine. It is not. Ancheta Tan, who cut his teeth into literary writing as a UP Collegian editor, is a wordsmith and a formidable storyteller.

He is also a poet. An earlier work of his, An Evening Walk and Other Poems, has earned this praise from a well-known Filipino friend and philanthropist in New York, Loida Nicolas Lewis:

“I am in awe by your book of poems, An Evening Walk, blown away by your sonnets. You have been a hidden magician, a buried talisman, a nascent craftsman of words and suddenly emerging as a poet! Bravo Chet for the courage to give birth to poetry.”

An even earlier work, On Passages, has won equal praise from Chet’s first mentors in law.

Lawyer Eduardo Hernandez, under whom he first honed his skills as a lawyer, exudes with admiration: “Your prose is beautiful. It is in fact the equivalent of your poetry.” From Dr. Rolando V. del Carmen, a law scholar whom he first met in Silliman and who lives in Austin, Texas, comes this tribute:

“I just finished reading your book! Wow, what an autobiography. You have lived one heck of a life even thus far and in the process have been wonderfully blessed in so many ways. I certainly know you a lot better now than when you were in Silliman. I have always wondered how you, in particular among hundreds of students I knew as students and colleagues while at Silliman, have fared in your life — and how. You are an even greater success than I thought. Your family must be tremendously proud of you. In one brief book, you have shared with the world your struggles and successes. Your book deserves a greater audience.”

I have not recently read anything as pleasantly absorbing. The author tells his story with natural simplicity and grace and catches you before you realize you’ve been caught. The minute I opened the book, I could not put it down. That has not happened to be in a little while. The least I can do in return is to write this column.

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