LIFE+STYLE | MOTHER’S DAY- Sunday, May 8, 2022 in Philippines
Sen. Loren Legarda (right) with her Nanay Fely Bagayas and son Leandro ‘Lean’ Leviste. Photo by Walter Bollozos
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The hand that rocks the cradle rules the world.”
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Sometimes, because of certain circumstances, the hand that rocks the cradle is the hand of yaya. In the Philippines, yaya is a term of endearment for a caregiver who specifically looks after children, or any member of the household for that matter. When women started joining the workforce increasingly in the ‘80s, yayas started becoming indispensable, feeding, bathing and putting to sleep babies of mothers who needed to work for one reason or another.
Even non-working mothers also relied and still rely on yayas. A yaya is a mother’s wingman.
There are horror stories about yayas, as there are horror stories about employers.
But blessed are the dedicated yayas, who love and treat their wards as their own flesh and blood, and blessed are the employers who treat their yayas as family.
For truly, this nation runs on yayas. Many government officials, top executives and entrepreneurs are mothers, and how do you think these women functioned if they weren’t secure in the thought that their children were cared for in their absence? And many men are also at their best in their work because their homes are manned (pun intended) by trustworthy yayas.
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In celebration of Mother’s Day, I’d like to share with you stories of yayas who have become second mothers and grandmothers by choice. But then again, maybe “second” isn’t the right word. Maybe “co-mothers” is more apt.
Sen. Loren Legarda put her life and duties on hold when her Nanay Fely, who cared for her since birth, had colon cancer. She brought her Nanay Fely to Stanford Hospital in California and with her son Lanz, cared for the now 84-year-old Ilocana. Nanay Fely, according to Loren, is doing very well now.
She says Nanay Fely is both her “partner in life” and her rock.
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“When my mother Bessie passed away, my nanay was there. When my marriage was annulled, Nanay was there. When my sons left for abroad to study, my nanay was there. When I lost two elections (2004 with FPJ and 2010 with Manny Villar), my nanay was there. She told me, ‘Huwag mong hangarin ang hindi para sa iyo. Huwag mong pagpilitan ang hindi para sa iyo. Tanggapin mo bagaman masakit’.”
For Loren’s youngest son Lean, Nanay Fely is “more than just my lola.” He was only three when his grandmother passed away.
“I felt the meaning of love through her more than anyone else because when you think about it, we’re not even her kids, we’re not even blood relatives. But she loves us more than anyone else in the world, more than her own family. She treats us as her own kids because she never had kids. She really puts us before herself. She’s way past the age of retiring, but she still goes to the grocery, she makes it a point to cook for us,” says Lean, who is a name to reckon with now in the field of solar energy.
Nanay Fely says Loren has always been very organized even as a little girl, very studious and neat.
She is that way until now, says Lean. “She doesn’t have a planner because she has everything in her head.”
That orderliness the senator probably inherited from her Nanay, a true-blue Ilocana.
“Since birth, Nanay took care of me,” says Loren proudly. “And since then she’s been tailor, dressmaker, embroiderer, electrician, nurse in our family. Lahat.”
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Former Press Undersecretary Deedee Siytangco was asked by then President Cory Aquino to work full time in Malacañang in 1989. Deedee had barely warmed her seat when the bloodiest coup was launched by rebel forces against the Aquino government. In 1990, a deadly earthquake jolted most of Luzon and in 1991, Mt. Pinatubo erupted. It was a most challenging time to be in government, but Deedee was effective in her job even if her four kids (Sandee, Junie, David and AJ) were then still of school age.
“I don’t think I would have survived Malacañang without Yaya Poppins. I would always feel safe that she was there, even my husband Sonny felt that way,” shares Deedee, who swears that they could leave Poppins alone in their home with their kids and their valuables and not worry. Deedee once told me that even in an earthquake, she knew Poppins would never leave the house without her wards.
“Yaya Pops always pulls through and finds a way,” says Sandee, now Mrs. Andrew Masigan.
“Yaya always puts her alagas first, often to a fault. I remember she would buy me a new GI Joe every week from the little store outside of school when I was third or fourth year high school,” shares AJ Siytangco.
Yaya Poppins, whose real name is Agapita but was christened Poppins after the Disney character “Mary Poppins,” joined the household of Deedee and her late husband Sonny Siytangco right after their honeymoon. She cared for all the Siytangcos’ children since birth and Sandee’s only child, 18-year-old Amanda since birth, too. When Amanda was old enough, Poppins would sometimes fly to Vancouver to babysit Junie’s two sons Monchu and Miggy.
“If you need to find something, she will do everything to find it. If something needs fixing, she will try her best to fix it or find out how to fix it. Nothing is too tough for her. She always pulls through for her alagas,” says Sandee.
For Poppins’ last birthday, Sandee treated her to a trip to Hong Kong.
Asked if she regrets never having her own children, Poppins says without hesitation, “Marami akong anak! Seven yung anak ko (I have a lot kids! Seven of them).” She was referring of course to the four Siytangco children and three grandchildren.
“Kapag ako’y nawala na, wala na akong hinihiling; kumpleto na ang buhay ko,” Poppins smiles.
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When I was growing up, a regal lady in white, her hair up in a bun, would pick up my classmate Jojo Marquez after school every day. Jojo, now Mrs. Louie Ocampo and a top bank executive, is now a mother of four. On Mother’s Day last year (Jojo’s mother has passed away), she posted a photo of her Yaya Nene with her (Jojo’s) children Patti and Quito on Facebook.
Her dedication: Happy Mother’s Day to the most selfless and generous woman I have ever known, the rock of my childhood and adulthood, my Yaya Nene. Thank you for loving me and my children unconditionally. And thank you to my kids for loving and being there for Lola when I am not around.”
“Her unconditional love, loyalty, commitment, generosity and presence. She was a very strict yaya. Good manners and right conduct was her mantra. All our suitors passed through ‘the eye of the needle’ so to speak — but she reciprocated with her care in a different kind of way. When my mom passed when I was 19, she was our rock. We made it through because of her being there for us,” says Jojo.
Happy Mother’s Day, indeed, to all the yayas out there. Your love is truly pure and genuine because you care for children who did not come from your womb but from your heart.
(You may e-mail me at [email protected].)
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TRIVIA:
Mother’s Day
| Mother’s Day | |
|---|---|
Mother’s Day
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| Observed by | 40+ countries |
| Type | Worldwide |
| Significance | Honors mothers and motherhood |
| Date | Varies per country |
| Frequency | Annual |
| Related to | Children’s Day, Siblings Day, Father’s Day, Parents’ Day, Grandparents’ Day |
Mother’s Day is a celebration honoring the mother of the family or individual, as well as motherhood, maternal bonds, and the influence of mothers in society. It is celebrated on different days in many parts of the world, most commonly in the months of March or May. It complements similar celebrations, largely pushed by commercial interests, honoring family members, such as Father’s Day, Siblings Day, and Grandparents’ Day.
While some countries have a multi-century history of a day to celebrate mothers, the modern American version of the holiday began in the United States in the early 20th century at the initiative of Anna Jarvis, who organized the first Mother’s Day service of worship and celebration at Andrews Methodist Episcopal Church in Grafton, West Virginia, which serves as the International Mother’s Day Shrine today.[1] It is not directly related to the many traditional celebrations of mothers and motherhood that have existed throughout the world over thousands of years, such as the Greek cult to Cybele, the mother deity Rhea, the Roman festival of Hilaria, or the other Christian ecclesiastical Mothering Sunday celebration (associated with the image of Mother Church).[2][3][4][5] However, in some countries, Mother’s Day is still synonymous with these older traditions.[6]
The American version of Mother’s Day has been criticized for having become too commercialized.[7][8] Jarvis herself, who began the celebration as a liturgical observance, regretted this commercialism and expressed that this was never her intention.[1][9] In response, Constance Adelaide Smith successfully advocated for Mothering Sunday as a commemoration of a broader definition of motherhood in many other parts of the English-speaking world.[10]
Establishment of holiday
Andrews Methodist Episcopal Church, the site of the first Mother’s Day service of worship in 1908; it serves as the International Mother’s Day Shrine.
The modern holiday was first celebrated in 1907, when Anna Jarvis held the first Mother’s Day service of worship at Andrews Methodist Episcopal Church in Grafton, West Virginia.[1][11] Andrew’s Methodist Church now holds the International Mother’s Day Shrine.[1] Her campaign to make Mother’s Day a recognized holiday in the United States began in 1905, the year her mother, Ann Reeves Jarvis, died. Ann Jarvis had been a peace activist who cared for wounded soldiers on both sides of the American Civil War, and created Mother’s Day Work Clubs to address public health issues. She and another peace activist and suffragette Julia Ward Howe had been urging for the creation of a “Mother’s Day For Peace” where mothers would ask that their husbands and sons were no longer killed in wars. 40 years before it became an official holiday, Ward Howe had made her Mother’s Day Proclamation in 1870, which called upon mothers of all nationalities to band together to promote the “amicable settlement of international questions, the great and general interests of peace.”[12] Anna Jarvis wanted to honor this and to set aside a day to honor all mothers because she believed a mother is “the person who has done more for you than anyone in the world”.[13]
In 1908, the U.S. Congress rejected a proposal to make Mother’s Day an official holiday, joking that they would also have to proclaim a “Mother-in-law’s Day”.[14] However, owing to the efforts of Anna Jarvis, by 1911 all U.S. states observed the holiday,[15] with some of them officially recognizing Mother’s Day as a local holiday[16] (the first being West Virginia, Jarvis’ home state, in 1910). In 1914, Woodrow Wilson signed a proclamation designating Mother’s Day, held on the second Sunday in May, as a national holiday to honor mothers.[17]
Although Jarvis, who started Mother’s Day as a liturgical service, was successful in founding the celebration, she became resentful of the commercialization of the holiday. By the early 1920s, Hallmark Cards and other companies had started selling Mother’s Day cards. Jarvis believed that the companies had misinterpreted and exploited the idea of Mother’s Day and that the emphasis of the holiday was on sentiment, not profit. As a result, she organized boycotts of Mother’s Day, and threatened to issue lawsuits against the companies involved.[18] Jarvis argued that people should appreciate and honor their mothers through handwritten letters expressing their love and gratitude, instead of buying gifts and pre-made cards.[17] Jarvis protested at a candy makers’ convention in Philadelphia in 1923, and at a meeting of American War Mothers in 1925. By this time, carnations had become associated with Mother’s Day, and the selling of carnations by the American War Mothers to raise money angered Jarvis, who was arrested for disturbing the peace.[17][18]
Internationally, there were immediate concerns surrounding the exclusive association of Mother’s Day with a biological definition of motherhood. Constance Adelaide Smith instead advocated for Mothering Sunday, an already-existing Christian ecclesiastical celebration in which the faithful visit the church in which they received the sacrament of baptism, as an equivalent celebration.[19][20][21][22] She referred to medieval traditions of celebrating Mother Church, ‘mothers of earthly homes’, Mary, mother of Jesus, and Mother Nature.[21][10] Her efforts were successful in the British Isles and other parts of the English-speaking world.[23]
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Spelling
In 1912, Anna Jarvis trademarked the phrase “Second Sunday in May, Mother’s Day, Anna Jarvis, Founder”, and created the Mother’s Day International Association.[24] She specifically noted that “Mother’s” should “be a singular possessive, for each family to honor its own mother, not a plural possessive commemorating all mothers in the world.”[25] This is also the spelling used by U.S. President Woodrow Wilson in his 1914 presidential proclamation, by the U.S. Congress in relevant bills,[26][27] and by various U.S. presidents in their proclamations concerning Mother’s Day.[28]
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Dates around the world
While the United States holiday was adopted by some other countries, existing celebrations, held on different dates, honoring motherhood have become described as “Mother’s Day”, such as Mothering Sunday in the United Kingdom[6] or, in Greece, the Eastern Orthodox celebration of the presentation of Jesus Christ to the temple (2 February of Julian Calendar). Both the secular and religious Mother Day are present in Greece.[29] Mothering Sunday is often referred to as “Mother’s Day” even though it is an unrelated celebration.[6]
In some countries, the date adopted is one significant to the majority religion, such as Virgin Mary Day in Catholic countries. Other countries selected a date with historical significance. For example, Bolivia’s Mother’s Day is a fixed date, commemorating a battle in which women participated to defend their children.[30] See the “International history and tradition” section for the complete list.
Some countries, such as Russia, celebrated International Women’s Day instead of Mother’s Day[31] or simply celebrate both holidays, which is the custom in Ukraine. Kyrgyzstan has recently introduced Mother’s Day, but “year on year International Women’s Day is certainly increasing in status”.[32]
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