OP ED OPINION | Time for Brunei to establish elderly care centres

As someone with many friends in the healthcare field, I hear heartbreaking stories more often than I’d like to admit.

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These stories are not isolated incidents – they reflect a larger systemic issue, one that we have not addressed because of long-held cultural perceptions and an absence of structural support.

Let me share a real-life example, anonymised out of respect for the family involved.

A grandfather in his 70s was admitted to hospital after a stroke left him partially paralysed. He came from a humble background.

His four adult children – one married and three still single – all work full-time – some as civil servants, others in retail and construction.

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The grandchildren are very young and in school. They are not neglectful; on the contrary, they are deeply devoted.

But they also live paycheck to paycheck, and they cannot afford a private nurse or home care. The family shares cars.

Public transportation in Brunei is sometimes difficult – especially when ferrying a fragile elderly person or juggling visits to hospital.

Eventually, the hospital needed to free up beds, and the grandfather was discharged. The family was advised to continue his care at home.

But home care, in this context, meant keeping him in a small room with minimal equipment, with family members rotating as caretakers after work or school.

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No one was trained and everyone was exhausted. The children tried their best, but even love has limits when there are no resources. The grandfather needed more than love – he needed professional care, a proper bed, physical therapy and round-the-clock monitoring.

What he got was an unintended form of neglect. This family is not unique.

Across the country, more families are quietly suffering like this. Our demographic structure is shifting.

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The once-large, multi-generational households where someone was always at home to care for the elderly are now rare. In most modern Bruneian homes, both parents work, and the children are in school.

The economic and social dynamics have changed, but the eldercare infrastructure has not caught up.

Yes, we have Pusat Kegiatan Warga Emas (Senior Citizen Activity Centre), which is a commendable initiative. However, these centres are not designed for elderly individuals who are sick, who require medical attention, or who are on life support.

Brunei urgently need short-term and long-term care facilities staffed with qualified medical professionals, equipped with proper beds, monitoring devices, rehabilitation tools and – perhaps most importantly – dignity.

There is a persistent stigma around the idea of “old folks’ homes” in Brunei. Many see it as abandoning the elderly.

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This mindset is deeply ingrained in our culture, which rightly values filial piety and family responsibility. But we must ask ourselves – what is more respectful? Keeping a loved one at home when we cannot meet their needs? Or ensuring they have access to professional care, safety, and companionship?

Times are changing. Holding onto the old ways while ignoring the realities of modern life does a disservice to the very elders we are trying to honour.

Establishing elderly care centres does not mean we love our parents or grandparents any less. It means we are choosing compassion that is practical, structured, and sustainable.

I urge all to begin this conversation openly. Let us remove the stigma and start building a future where ageing with dignity is a right, not a privilege.

Our elderly have given us their best years. Let’s give them the care they truly deserve.
If the authorities were to take the lead in establishing such care facilities, I believe many Bruneians would not hesitate to pay for these services.

Make it a paid service – affordable, but professional. Families who need such facilities would be willing to contribute financially if it means better care for their elderly loved ones.

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Even elderly individuals living alone and unmarried without any children may choose to spend part of their pension or retirement savings on such care, especially if it ensures their health, comfort, and dignity in later years.

A paid care model is not only sustainable but could also empower families and seniors to make informed choices without relying solely on overstretched hospital systems or under-resourced home care.