FEATURED-LIFE+STYLE: All of me: A journey of becoming nonbinary

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Through personal reflection and conversations with others, one writer explores gender, belonging, and the long – often arduous – process of becoming oneself.
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What is the first thing that people notice about you?

Maybe it’s your hair length, your outfit, the shape of your jaw, or your voice. And, always, these features coalesce into what they think your gender is.

Every action others take thenceforth, from how they talk to you to the distance they keep from you, is based on whether you are considered a man or woman.

Personally, I didn’t want to be noticed – I wanted to be known. I wanted to be more than the sum of my parts, categorized into a word.

So, I became neither.

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Nia
Jakarta
Thu, June 18, 2026
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